An Exegesis of To The Moon (in 4 Parts)

[I wrote this as a series of 4 articles from Jan to Jun 2013. It was first published on redeemedgamer.wordpress.com]

Part 1 - Memories and Forgetfulness

If you have not yet played To The Moon – why haven’t you? It’s easily available on either Steam or GOG.com, it only takes about 4 hours to complete, runs pretty much on any computer, it’s inexpensive and worth every penny.  Trust me (and every critic who has reviewed the game) – go play it; it’s worth your time.  But in case you still don’t want to do so, be warned – MASSIVE SPOILERS AHEAD.

My original intention was to do a single article on To The Moon, but despite its short length, the themes touched upon by the game were so deep and rich, I felt that it deserved a more detailed treatment.  Lord willing, we will discuss the following in Parts 2 to 4:

Part 2 – Love & Romance Part 3 – Death & Mortality Part 4 – Happiness & A Life Well Lived

***

I just got posted to a new high school this year and I’m still learning my new colleagues’ names. This morning I walked into class with a colleague as my co-teacher, and I said to the class: “Could you please greet Ms Melissa Goh and then greet me?”.  Ms Goh very gently turned to me and said, “erm…actually, my name is Michelle”.

It is embarrassing to forget things, particularly important things such as names.  Ever since I entered my 20s, my short term memory started to degenerate, and nowadays I can hardly remember any task which I do not ask my phone to remind me (Thank God for technology!).  I sometimes wondered if one day I would get married and consistently forget about my (hypothetical) wife’s birthday, our anniversary, or how we first met.  That would be more than just embarrassing – that would be heartbreaking.

[FINAL WARNING – MASSIVE SPOILERS ALERT]

In To The Moon, Johnny Wyles forgot a very precious memory.  It wasn’t his fault – his memory loss was induced upon him by drugs administered to him.  But the fact remains that Johnny Wyles forgot how he first met River, the woman he would later marry.  This tragedy was further compounded by River’s condition (some form of autism or Asperger’s), as she never realized that he had forgotten until they had been married for several years (maybe decades).  This must present the uncomfortable question to River – who was this man that she married, if the various things she held dear (such as the platypus and the lighthouse) never held the same significance to Johnny?  If she did not marry the man she thought she had married – does this not make the marriage void?  Later on (chronologically), River was dying, but she refused treatment in order that the house next to the lighthouse could be built – if her husband would not remember, she would rather not live (more about this in Part 4).

River asks Johnny if he remembers a rabbit with a yellow belly. He doesn’t.

Much in the same way, is our relationship with God.  Our relationship with God is built upon what God had done for us.  Most of us had experienced how God had delivered us from points of downfall in our lives – perhaps some of these experiences are precisely why we are Christian today.  Aside from our experiences, there is also knowledge of what God had done in order to secure our salvation and our blessings – the work of Christ on the cross.  Yet all too easily, we fail to remember.  We fail to remember when we get preoccupied with the daily grind.  We fail to remember when we get preoccupied with our current obstacles and conflicts.  We fail to remember when other people sin against us and we feel the need to vent.  We fail to remember how much God had done for us.  We fail to remember our infinite indebtedness  to God.  We fail to remember to be grateful.  We fail to remember that our purpose is to live for God.  We fail to remember the cross.  We fail to remember Christ.

“People need to be reminded more often than they need to be instructed” – Samuel Johnson

It is not too far a stretch to say that forgetfulness is the primary reason why we as Christians continue to struggle with sin.  We have already tasted the goodness of Christ.  We have already obtained salvation by faith.  We already have the hope of future glory. Yet our flesh continues to tempt us with worldly desires and self-preoccupation.  So tempted are we, that we forget what we have tasted, what we have obtained, what we have to hope for.  How amazing then is the grace of God, that time and time again He would draw us back to Him when we forget Him, instead of just letting us get what we deserve for deserting Him.

Memories and mementos are the central motif of To The Moon; this is emphasized even in the game mechanics – a memento needs to be “activated” each time before the game can advance to the next “level”.  In the same way, our remembrance of God, particularly what had been done for us at the cross, should be the central motif of our lives. But to push aside the self-centered clutter of our daily lives, we will need to daily “activate” our memory of what God had done.  We need to preach the gospel to ourselves each and everyday of our lives, so that Christ be kept the the center of our lives.

Lest I forget Gethsemane, Lest I forget Thine agony; Lest I forget Thy love for me, Lead me to Calvary.

Part 2 - Love & Romance

[Spoilers] A typical love story with a happy ending usually goes like this: boy meets girl.  They fall in love. They encounter obstacles. They overcome obstacles. They finally get together.  Happily ever after.  To The Moon tells a love story – but hardly a typical one.  Yes boy met girl. Yes they fell in love (at least the girl did). They encountered obstacles (like the boy forgetting the girl). They finally got together (and got married). But it wasn’t happily ever after. In fact, they never really overcame the initial obstacle, and the girl died with this obstacle unresolved.

Yet, To The Moon has a happy ending. An ending so moving that many have confessed to crying when they experienced it. What gives? What about the ending makes it so moving – and so romantic – when deep down inside we know that what we’re seeing is but an illusion, and the real River had already passed away never finding her fulfillment?

Certainly the science-fiction nature of the narrative has something to do with it.  I had come across similar science-fiction romantic stories where the science-fiction elements had messed with the usual romantic narrative, e.g. the Japanese films Love Letter and Be With You, the Korean film Il Mare (later re-made into The Lake House starring Sandra Bullock and Keanu Reeves), as well as the 1980 Christopher Reeve film, Somewhere in Time. [The Time Traveller’s Wife may qualify, but I haven’t seen the film or read the book].

I know I’m a little under-qualified to talk about romance, but I want to offer a counter-proposition: perhaps what makes a story romantic and moving is not necessarily the final outcome of the story, but rather how the beauty of a relationship between two individuals is revealed to the audience.  It is both the substance (i.e. the nature of the relationship) as well as the form (i.e. how masterfully it is revealed to the audience).  If this is true, then “happily ever after” is not what really makes for romance, but rather the realization of how beautiful a relationship is (or was) which makes for romance.

Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands. Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, because we are members of his body. “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband. (Ephesians 5:22-33 ESV)

My views of Christian romance, dating and marriage have been largely shaped by 4 books: I Kissed Dating Goodbye, Boy Meets Girl (both by Joshua Harris), What Did You Expect? (by Paul Tripp) and John Piper’s This Momentary Marriage (click here for free pdf).  From this tradition, we understand romance as part of (or working towards) marriage, and our earthly marriage as a symbol, a reminder, and a foretaste of the final and ultimate glorious marriage we would take part in – as the bride of Christ.

Perhaps this is the reason why our hearts are moved when we see a beautiful and intimate relationship revealed through a film, a book or a videogame.  At the end of To The Moon, when we see Johnny reach out and hold River’s hand as the moon comes into view, our hearts resonated with that scene, because when God created us, he designed us for romance.  We were all designed for the loving and intimate relationship – with Christ as our groom.

Previously, I have suggested that “happily ever after” isn’t what makes a narrative moving and romantic.  This has to be true in some sense, after all, surely all romantic couples know that eventually one day they must part – till death or divorce.  But yet, that is not true in another sense – our marriage to Christ is eternal. And that is truly happily ever after.

Part 3 - Death & Mortality

Johnny Wyles lay dying on his bed.  Dr Eva Rosalene and Dr Neil Watts rushed to his bedside to fulfill his dying wish – to make him dream of accomplishing the most important thing he failed to do in real life, and thus die a happy man.  [Spoilers] Eventually they succeeded, and Johnny died a happy man.

It is unquestioned by the game that what Eva and Neil do is beneficial and compassionate to Johnny. Late in the Neil had an emotional argument with Eva and said that he liked his job because he found it meaningful to help the dying this way. At the climax of the story [spoilers, duh] when Neil and Eva disagreed on how they should interfere with Johnny’s memories, it felt like a serious and weighty issue because this would be Johnny’s last conscious experience, and how that plays out feels weighty and important.

Here’s an apparently dumb question: why are our dying moments so weighty and important? Should it really be so? What makes them any weightier than any other moments of our lives? Is the middle 30 minutes of our lives less significant than the last 30 minutes of our lives? If so, why? 30 minutes is 30 minutes right?

The answer of course, has much to do with how we view mortality and dying. [It’s also got much to do with what makes our lives meaningful, but we will discuss that further in Part 4, God willing.] It isn’t immediately obvious, but the worldview presented by To The Moon is distinctly humanistic – when Johnny dies, it is implied his consciousness just disappears.  There is no hint of an afterlife whatsoever.  Yet his life is presented as intrinsically valuable and important. His dying moments represent the time just before something immensely valuable and important (i.e. life) is about to go out of existence. This is what makes a person’s dying moments weighty and precious.

Such a worldview is so subsumed into our culture that many Christians might even think it incredulous to be otherwise. Certainly, human life is immensely valuable and important. Certainly, a man’s dying moments are extra precious. Both statements are certainly true, but a Christian’s reasons for believing so are vastly different from a humanist’s. The way a Christian thinks about death has to be vastly different.

Yes, and I will rejoice, for I know that through your prayers and the help of the Spirit of Jesus Christ this will turn out for my deliverance, as it is my eager expectation and hope that I will not be at all ashamed, but that with full courage now as always Christ will be honored in my body, whether by life or by death. For to me to live is Christ, and to die is gain. If I am to live in the flesh, that means fruitful labor for me. Yet which I shall choose I cannot tell. I am hard pressed between the two. My desire is to depart and be with Christ, for that is far better. (Philippians 1:18-23)

As a Christian, I believe that this earthly life is not my final destination. There is a far greater and much more wonderful place where all my longings will cease and all my desires will be fulfilled. And my death will be the first step there. Yet, like most Christians I suspect, I often forget this. I get attached to this world and I don’t want to leave it.

Christians believe that when we die, we do not go out of existence. Sure, there is sadness when loved ones pass on, but the sadness is not due to their existence being terminated, but because the presence of loved ones will be missed, and only missed temporarily if they also happen to be Christians. Christians believe that we should continue acts of compassion to the dying not because something immensely precious is going out of existence soon, but because we are called to love and comfort those in need – and often the dying are the most in need. Christians believe that human life is valuable not because human life is the most precious and valuable thing in the world, but because humans are made in the image of God, and God is the most precious and valuable entity in the world.

NBA star Dwight Howard and terminally ill Kay Kellog (who has since passed). One of my favorite stories of reaching out to the dying.

When Christians lay dying on their bed, unlike Johnny Wyles, they shouldn’t have to seek happiness on their deathbed. They shouldn’t have to seek to live out an artificially created reality where they can deceive themselves into a few final moments of temporal happiness.  That’s because they already have assurance of an eternal happiness which awaits them on the other side.

I hope and pray that if one day I lay dying on my bed, I may be so filled with gratitude of what God has done for me and so filled with anticipation of being with Jesus that I have no choice but to be happy. I hope and pray that each and every day, I can fight to remember that this world is not my home, and that my heart will fight to truly believe: to die is gain.

There is a hope that stands the test of time, That lifts my eyes beyond the beckoning grave, To see the matchless beauty of a day divine When I behold His face! When sufferings cease and sorrows die, And every longing satisfied. Then joy unspeakable will flood my soul, For I am truly home

Part 4 - A Life Worth Living

There is a moving scene in To The Moon where Johnny, in the midst of building the cabin overlooking the lighthouse, talks to Isabell about his wife, River. He reveals to Isabell that River is dying of a terminal disease, and they don’t have enough money to both treat her illness as well as build that cabin. Johnny knows that River would insist on building the cabin rather than treating her illness, and he breaks down and cries, upset that his feelings has no say in the matter. It would later be revealed that Johnny had forgotten his initial encounter with River (when he gave her the platypus) and the cabin was part of River’s attempts to help him remember. It appears that River would rather not live if Johnny cannot remember this important precious memory.

At the end of the narrative, where Neil and Eva successfully altered Johnny’s memories such that he goes with River to the moon, Johnny finally dies. The feel of success at this point seems to indicate that successfully altering Johnny’s memories is a big deal, i.e. it is a big deal for Johnny to achieve his aspiration before he dies. For both River as well as Johnny, the game seems to imply that happiness is a big deal, so the point where life is not worth living if you cannot achieve that happiness.

To some extent, this sentiment feels somewhat obvious. If we don’t exist to pursue happiness, for what purpose should we exist for? This attitude may persist in the church even: “surely God wants me to be happy and blessed, Rom 8:28 says so!”. And for some churches (i.e. those who preach prosperity), it is the foundation of their faith. “Come believe Jesus, and you will get wealth, health and prosperity – and won’t you be happy?”

As a teacher in a high school, I find a common sentiment being preached to the students: “Do you want to obtain happiness? If so, then you must work hard to obtain the results you want”. By saying this, we tie our happiness is tied to our achievements, our careers and our possessions. Indeed, for where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.

For I have come to set a man against his father, and a daughter against her mother, and a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law. And a person’s enemies will be those of his own household. Whoever loves father or mother more than me is not worthy of me, and whoever loves son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me. And whoever does not take his cross and follow me is not worthy of me. Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it. Matthew 10:35-39 ESV

Jesus says extremely harsh words here, to the point where a non-Christian might think Jesus to be a lunatic or some kind of terrorist. But this really cuts down to what the Christian faith really is about – is Jesus your most precious treasure? Is Jesus more precious to you than your possessions? More precious than your relationships (even family)? Your achievements? (Your videogames?) More precious than all of these things on earth which can make you happy?

It feels hard to be critical of River because it feels wrong to criticize someone who suffers from Asperger’s, but River was wrong. Her life is not meaningless if Johnny cannot remember how they met. Even if their marriage was never what she thought it to be, Johnny still genuinely loved her and they still had years of memories of married life together. Was that suddenly worthless because of her present unhappiness? Honestly, I thought River behaved in a self-centered and unloving manner to Johnny, causing him to be in much distress and guilt for many years even after she died.

We have many aspirations in life. We want many things, tangible or intangible. We believe that if we obtain these things we would be happy. Failure to obtain these things would rob our lives of happiness, and hence, of meaning. But the cosmic irony is that only if you choose to say “Jesus is more precious to me than all my aspirations” will you truly obtain true happiness. This is the true secret to happiness: you will only be truly happy when you live your life not for yourself, but for the sake of Christ, his kingdom and his glory.

Than to be the king of a vast domain And be held in sin’s dread sway; I’d rather have Jesus than anything This world affords today.